Runner’s Party of India Launched

The election season has come and gone, but the sorry state of my runner brothers and sisters continues. Their demands have been ignored for far too long. Runners are a minority population and we deserve, nay demand, receive special treatment. We cannot be taken for granted anymore. With the next election in mind, I hereby announce my intention to float a new party which I hereby name RPI(C): Runner’s Party Of India(Coached). The party symbol is as follows:

Slogan: Make India Run Again!

While other parties delay publishing their manifestos, RPI hereby makes public its manifesto which is as follows:

RPI(C) Manifesto

  • Runners to have ‘right of run’ on all public roads.
  • All street lights on all public roads to remain ON till 30 minutes past daybreak.
  • Establishment of special fast track courts for hearing offenses against women runners.
  • Formation of RAIL (Race Authority Of India Ltd) which will act as as the regulatory body for all races organized in India.
  • A ‘Runner’s Tribunal’ will be established to hear complaints against race organizers.
  • Announcement of a new ‘Beti Bachao, Beti Bhagao’ scheme to promote running among girls.
  • Companies to give 10 annual ‘Race Leaves’ to all runner employees in addition to the usual sick leaves and casual leaves.
  • All runners to be assigned a PBN (Permanent Bib Number) to be used across all races.
  • Establish a task force to study the viability of a ‘Recovery Leave’ on the lines of the maternity leave.
  • All running related expenses like race entries, shoes, gels, GPS watches etc to be tax deductible, with no upper limit.
  • Abolishment of Sales Tax/VAT/GST on all running related items.
  • Establishment of GGCI (GU Gel Corporation of India), to stockpile enough energy gels to help runners tide over any shortfalls during peak race season.
  • Announcement of a tax deduction in rupees equivalent to the runner’s yearly mileage. Garmin records to be submitted as proof.
  • Announcement of a special annual ‘SCMM Yatra’ travel subsidy for all runners.
  • ISRO to deploy a special pan-India GPS satellite system so that runners do not have to wait endlessly for the GPS signal.
  • All sports injuries to be treated for free at government hospitals.
  • Establishment of a new class of national awards for runners, given in accordance with their full marathon times, as follows:
    Sub 3: Runner Ratna
    Sub 3:30 – Runner Shri
    Sub 4:00 – Runner Vibhushan
    Sub 5:00 – Runner Bhushan
  • Establishment of the ‘Pradhan Mantri Jan Run Yojana’ to ensure access to races in an affordable manner.
  • Launch of the ‘Rashtriya Strength Training Mission’ under which 2000 strength training shakhas to be established across India with a goal to develop injury free runners.
  • Enforcement Directorate (ED) to be empowered to make sure that runners stick to their training plans.
  • Major races like SCMM to be nationalized and run in a smooth efficient manner, just like any other government organization.
  • Announcement of the ‘Mid-Day Supplement Scheme’ to support the basic nutrition requirement of runners like vitamins, minerals, electrolytes, protein bars, protein shakes, etc.
  • Get a RTC (Right To Coaching) bill passed within 6 months of coming to power.
  • Erect a huge statue of Milkha Singh.
  • The RTI (Right To Information) Act will be expanded to cover the following:
    – Training plans of all elite runners and they will have to file annual mileage returns along with their training plans.
    – Race times of all runners. Posting false times on social media will invite a 2 year ban from all races.
  • Establish a new ‘Ministry Of Running’ to cater to the needs of all runners, to be headed by a CRO (Chief Running Officer).

So in the next election, remember: “TAI MAI AKKA, VICHAR KARA PAKKA, BUTA WAR MARA SHIKKA”!

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